Friday, March 23, 2012

Redneck Ghost Words and they's meanin's

Ghost?!Ghost?! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)We going to do this here in A B C order so it is easy fer yall.


Aliens


This here's them little green fellers that like to do them probes in your hind end.

Anomaly
This here is when something is out of the ordinary, we don't use it much none cause people around here don't like big words.

Apparition
Now theys been quite a bit of debatin' over this one, but it turns out it don't mean a divider in a building--Freddie, and it aint no legal term Steve! Its actually a daggum ghost you can see, sometimes theys faint, and sometimes theys plain as day.

Asport
Now this here was another one that had us stumped for a spell. I thought it meant like a porta potty but I admit I was wrong. Freddie thought it meant when you move your butt from one place to the next. WRONG! Asport is when a ghost steals something from ya, and then returns it somewheres else you aint left it. Damn them. They stole my toilet paper a few times from me and it aint appreciated.

Ball lightning
Well again we didn't know what this was in our newbie days, I could have sworn this was something you did to yourself when you tried to light a pipe in your lap with a blow torch. What we found out was its actually a big old glowy red orb.

Channelin
Well what can I say, it aint when you got the remote control. I know, I know I was confused once about it too, but turns out this is what them psychic people do when they want to talk to ghosts.

Doppleganger
I can't tell you how many times I went into bar orderin this thinking it was a beer topped off with a little whiskey. Dang it, they always got it wrong, now Im thinking they didnt know any better than I did. Dang fools. Anyways, this here is when you got like a twin and theys actually a ghost.

Ectoplasm
I really thought I knew what this meant when I was younger, I thought it was Octopus blood but lo an' behold, it aint. Turns out this is some damn goo leftover from a spirit that is present. Sometimes it looks like mist and such in a photo. Freddie calls it "ghost poop" or "ghost snot."

EVP
Electric voice playin'

Franks Box
Now this one had us all God-slapped fer a spell and then we realized theys talkin about a daggum spirit box. These is so cool you ask it questions and it gives you the answer of the ghost. It sure as hell works a sight better than that damn 8 Ball we was shaking like a bunch of fools for a while.


Ghost Hunters
Thats us, and those other fancy fellers on TV that think the are so damn special. Just cause theys on tv dont mean they do anything better than we do. We just dont prance around in fancy vans and play with plumbing tools.


Hauntin
This here is when a ghost keeps coming back and making a nuisense out of itself.

Intuition
I thought this was something you paid to go to fancy learnin schools, turns out its about knowing things ahead of time before anybody has told you nothing.

K2Meter
This here doohickey shows when a ghost is around and it goes all fool and wonky and starts a pointing at numbers on a dial it has.

Levitatin
This heres when ya floating on the floor and what not. Ghosts do it a lot since they aint always got feet.

Manifestationing
This here is when a ghost comes to light and you all can see it, hear it, and sometimes smell it.

Near Death experience
When you die, but then God don't want ya yet, you have a near death experience. Cause he sends your sorry hind end back to earth cause you got stuff to finish like putting up wall paper in the kitchen.

Orbs
These is round ghosts. Dont believe them people that says they aint a spirit. They must be fool in the head cause these dag gum things show up only in one or two pictures even when you are standing still in the same spot so don't tell me these here aint paranormal they is!

Paranormal
Anything that aint normal, and is not normal in a lot  of ways is paranormal.

Questerz
Thats hunter like us on a Quest for ghosts and aliens and Big foot.

Residual Energy
This is when a ghost is lingering in a place all the time and is stuck doing the same crap over and over again, like passing from one room to the other at the same daggum time every day.

Seeance
This is when you all set together and call up a spirit to come and show itself before ya. When you all see it, its a Seeance. Git it?

Telekinesis
This here is when you can use the power of your mind to move stuff and fling crap around just by thinking about like in that daggum movie with the girl that had that pig blood on her head. She had this disorder.

UFO
Unidentified flying saucers.

Vortex
This is how spirits and evil specters git in your house sometimes. Its usually the hot spot in a house for ghosts and stuff.

White Noise
This ones complicated but you can go get that movie called White Noise and you'll see its about hearing voices in the tv when you put it on like channel 13 or vhf or what ever.

X ray vision machine
It is that thing we put on sometimes to see in the dark. Sometimes we use it for other stuff too but you didnt hear it from me.

Yeti
Its like a Sasquatch but it lives in the daggum cold places like Russia.

Zombie
These is voodoo type undead people thats died.

Well we know now that you are smarter than you was when you started reading this here post. You're welcome. Hope you come back for more.
~Bubba
RGQ admin.
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